Trials

"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials."
- Chinese proverb

It's 8AM. I'm thinking of my sister and her husband sitting in the airport awaiting their flight to Denver. Her clinical trial interview is on Tuesday.

This is more than just a clinical trial, however. It is a trial of the unknown. It's a trial of perseverance.

It has become a trial of faith, of love and devotion. It is a trial for life and positive outcomes. It is a trial of conviction. It is a trial of strength.

In the last few months I have found that I am stronger than I thought in a variety of ways. Not as strong as my sister, mind you. Facing the cancer head on and refusing to give up this fight is a strength that is beyond measure.

Her strength is amazing and awe inspiring. And, exhausting. But it is also beautiful and contagious.

I pray to have a part of her strength so I can hold her up when she needs me. To keep her and her husband calm with they get stressed. To be realistic when it is necessary. To reassure them when they question. To continue fighting for them when they are tired.

We are all in trials throughout our life, though, aren't we? I don't expect this particular trial at this particular time to make me perfect. I just want it to make me useful to my sister, her family and mine.

Because, I am here for her and her family. Our family. Always. Forever.

So, I imagine them sitting there, waiting for their flight to an unknown. A scary unknown. This shitty cancer seems to enjoy keeping us guessing. It's hard to turn off our brains long enough to allow our minds to rest. And, I'm not the one living with it. All I know is that we continue.

We never know where that next step will take us. All we know is that it must be taken.

I can't imagine the struggle my sister goes through day in and day out with the thoughts in her head and the cancer in her body. It's torture.

But, they are flying. Because my sister will not allow this crap to win.

They are flying towards this trial with hope.

Please help my sister keep hope in her heart. Send her and her husband off today with positive energy and love.

I love my sister. I hope I can help her go past this physical and emotional trial and see how far she can fly.