Love/Hate Relationship With Aging

"Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been."

~ David Bowie

There was a shock on the face of my date the other night when I told him how old I was. It's not something I usually bring up in conversation, but he made the wrong assumption and I wanted to correct him; after I thanked him profusely for saying I was 8 years younger than I truly was.

I told him it was a grand compliment and he can continue to think I'm 50 all he wants. However, I also told him that I was very proud of my age.

I've earned my wrinkles. I've earned my scars. I've earned my gray hair.  I've also earned what I need to purchase my box of hair color to hide all that gray - I mean, come on...

But it also made me think... I guess I do have this love/hate relationship with aging. I know I have written how content I am in my life and my age right now. And, I am. But, my age is starting to show. While I have lost weight my skin is not bouncing back as I'd like. I'm a lot more wiggly even being a lot less heavy.

I look in the mirror and I don't see a 58 year old. Maybe 45? Yeah, I'm being very kind with myself. But we never really feel our age, why should we believe we look our age too?

Either way, I'm rather proud that people believe I'm younger than I am. No, I don't believe I'm a "work of art," but I'm proud that people believe I've aged well.  All I know is, I'm no accident. I worked hard for everything I am at this moment. And, I am indeed proud...and content.

Perhaps, as David Bowie said, through this process this is the person I was always meant to be.

==================
Carmen Garcia writes about stuff... life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.

Another Year Older

"I see no good reason to act my age."

~ Anonymous

I had a birthday last week. Or, as I say, the 29th anniversary of my 29th birthday. Yep, I'm 58.

There is a wonderful feeling that comes with my age at this moment - at least it has for me. I feel freer. I'm comfortable with who I am. I want for nothing, really. Oh, maybe a new car so I can give mine to my daughter now that she's turning 16, but that's just superficial stuff.

I would like to find a nice male companion, but I've been alone for so long that I'm good being alone too. I'm content. I'm content with where I am in my life. I'm content with who I am at this moment.

I love my friends and they seem to like me pretty much. I'm happy.

I don't know if I could have said that last year at this time.

I was still contemplating surgery and wouldn't have my surgery date for another few days back a year ago.  I was 95 pounds heavier. Out of shape, out of breath, almost out of life, out of hope, out of happiness.  Don't get me wrong, I played a good game. No one could really tell that I was as unhappy as I was a year ago.  I don't think I really even knew how unhappy I was then. But looking back it hits me like a ton of bricks. To know I just existed with no real life in my life.

But then I truly began listening to my friend, mentor, client who teaches women about living in their authentic-self and it all began to click. It all began to make such sense and I began to feel like I could be a better version of myself. I just had to peel away the layers - literally and figuratively.

I had to breath, allow to receive and open my heart.  And, as I peeled away the layers, as my body began to move again, as it shifted, changed and became stronger, I realized that age is just a number.

Your birthday is the anniversary of when you arrived on this earth. A reflection of the time you have been living - not a countdown to what you have left to live.

So live it! Be content. Be happy. Breath it all in and open to receive the fullness of life.

Happy anniversary to me!

==================
Carmen Garcia writes about stuff... life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.

An Amazing Path

"Happiness, Success, Excellence: They are not something you get for knowing the path; they are something you experience by walking the path."

~ Dr. Steve Maraboli

I'm feeling pretty good these days. It's amazing what you can do when you are good to your body. It's amazing how you feel when you feed it healthy and beneficial food. And, it's amazing how your mind and body respond when you are being mindful of what you eat, what you do and how you move.

On this journey, it's all been simply amazing. One step at a time.

Things, places, activities, people don't scare me anymore. My confidence level has increased along with my energy. I tell ya - it's amazing. Not much surprises me anymore of what I can do and how I can get there.

In fact, I was driving along the river road the other day. The first thing I thought of was how peaceful the trail looked and how I wanted to plan on walking the path in the coming week.  Then it dawned on me...the thought came crashing in my mind... I remember when I would look at that same trail and think to myself, "No way I could walk that path. How would I get back?"

Amazing how my thought process has shifted.

My 5K this month is the St. Paddy's Day run. It's not a 5K, but rather a 7K - 5 miles!!!  My first thought was "no way" but it slowly morphed in to "why not?" So I go slowly. So I stop and sit for a moment. So I may be the last one crossing the finish. So what? The point is to try. Why not?

I am walking my path in more ways than a 5K - or 7K for that matter.  It's one step at a time. One success at a time. One day at a time.

It truly has never been about knowing that the path was there. It is all about walking the path. Just get out there and walk your path. Walk YOUR path.

Trust me... it's amazing.

==================
Carmen Garcia writes about stuff... life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.