Contentment

"Your only obligation in any lifetime is be true to yourself."
~ Richard Bach

I went out with a nice man the other night. During a conversation on politics he made a comment, "you don't have to agree with me." It made me pause for a moment and question myself and his statement. Am I agreeing with him? If so, why? To make a good impression? To be compliant? Hmmmm.

I know that my personality is normally to not make waves. But, I'm also opinionated. Yep, it's confusing. I always try to speak my truth - yet remain diplomatic. It's extremely difficult to walk that line, but folks seem to think I do a good job doing so.

However, when he made this statement I wondered how often I come across as inauthentic. How often do I swerve from my true self to make others comfortable, make me seem more agreeable or try to impress.

Trying to impress for an actress or singer is nothing new. But, as a person, in a personal setting...let's just say trying to impress doesn't go well sometimes. I seem to make a bigger fool of myself than remain my true-self.

As our world changes around us - so very quickly lately - I find I want to make more waves and not be so compliant. Not to make a good impression of myself, but impress on those around me how out of whack things have been getting. (If you follow politics you know what I'm talking about.)

I've been somewhat of a rebel most of my life. I never really liked people telling me what to do or what to say. That's probably why - much to my mother's chagrin - that I never really liked going to church. Or, enjoyed any religion for that matter. Don't tell me how to live my life, what to think, how to pray, or who I pray to! Which makes it surprising that I'm very comfortable taking direction from a director - but that's another story.  Anyway... Unfortunately, women have been told what to do their entire lives. Haven't they?

Men always made the rules. Men always had the power. It's gotten to the point where women aren't sure what they are supposed to do. And, when we see a woman exert her opinion, strength or power, she's a bitch or bossy.  So many women, when asked, voted how they voted or believed what they do because their husbands or fathers influenced their beliefs. In fact, women have been told what to do and say and think for such a long time that it's taken the world by surprise that we actually have a voice. We don't have to be seen as manipulative when trying to "get our way" anymore. Look at the sea of women with their pink pussy hats collectively exerting their voice in recent days. My sister and I were among those here in our hometown.

Any of my friends on Facebook know that I don't shy away from voicing my opinion anymore. And, as I told this nice man and others I have met along the dating journey of my life - I'm content with where I am and who I am at this point in my life. I don't necessarily need a man to "complete me" but certainly want the companionship of a partner.

I'm not out to impress... I like being true to my self. I want to impress others with my authentic me!

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Carmen Garcia writes about stuff... life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.

Welcome 2017

Happy New Year! 
Happy New Me! 
Happy New Adventures!
And, Good Riddance to 2016
- Carmen


Last year was tough.

Let's put aside the election. And, all the celebrities we lost.

Our family lost an important part of us: my sister. Christmas was her favorite time of year. Let alone that her birthday falls smack in the middle of Christmas and New Years (she would have been 51) - the end of the year has always been one big celebration!  Her death was our first true loss and such a huge one at that.  So huge that a big part of our family decided to get away for the holidays. We took off to Colorado and invaded my baby sister's house.

I was anxious about going to Colorado for a few reasons. First, I was worried of my sarcoidosis. Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease that affects multiple organs in your body, but mostly the lungs and lymph glands (around the chest).  As you all know, we need our lungs at full capacity to breath - especially, in high altitudes. So, I was hesitant to go to the "mile-high State."

Second, I'm doing so well on my new lifestyle and eating habits. I haven't had much in terms of carbs - no bread, cookies, pastries - you know the stuff that surrounds you while on vacation during Christmas. And, I walk... at least a couple of miles a day. How was I going to get that in, let alone in the altitude?

I discovered a couple of things on our holiday in Colorado.

First. Sarcoidosis can Suck It! I went for a 2.5 mile walk on the trails behind my sister's house in Highland Ranch. Most. Every. Day.

The mountains! The fresh air! How refreshing to be able to go walk in such a serene setting. But... DAMN! those hills! You know what? I did it! I didn't walk every day - we were busy going to and from great adventures, but I did walk most days.

And, carbs? I discovered that carbs won't kill me. Yes I had a cookie (or two) and a piece of bread (or two), but I'm still standing. And, I also had a glass of wine (or two). It's all good. At home I'm back to how I ate before - very limited to no carbs. I like it better that way. No bloating.

We also went for a hike... Up big steep climbs. And, I climbed up a rock and walked through the brush and did things I hadn't done in a long, long time. And, did them with relative ease.

We even went to one of the highest locations in Denver to go skiing - well, I didn't ski (my knees wouldn't put up with it). But, I was there. And, I was walking around and I was outside in the cold air and I was having fun!

I was having fun!  Being physical. Outdoors. Me.

At one point in my life - like early last year - I wouldn't have even thought I would be having so much fun going for a long walk. Thinking of hiking over a mile (heck, I wouldn't even think of walking to get the mail!). But that's me now!

I completed my first 5K in December. The Hot Chocolate Run! And, now I'm hooked.  I've signed up for a 5K each month! That should keep me busy for a while! Thank heaven for my darling niece and Goddaughter for joining me on these 5K adventures!

I hope to work my way up to a 10K by October!  Eek!
I'm starting Cross Fit at the end of the month and will try my hand at aerial Pilates! What?! As my BFF has asked - Who ARE You?!

Add to all that wonderful schtuff... I have been cast in my first musical in over 20 years!  That's right! I'm taking the stage again.  My daughter is no longer the only thespian in the house. Of course, she's in two musicals simultaneously, but more on that later.

I'm in one. It ShouldA Been You with Take Two Productions. And, it's more than enough for me. We begin rehearsing next week!

Crazy.

And, now for the final thought for this year's first blog post... I'm down 90 pounds.  Yep! I can't believe it either.

I'm grateful you have been with me on this journey.  You guys help keep me focused. You guys help keep me honest. You guys help keep me going.

Thanks for reading.  Thanks for listening and thanks for being there for me.

Here's to a wonderful and active 2017!

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Carmen Garcia writes about stuff... life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.